Christian Marriage Counseling in Utah
Recently, my wife and I went through a rough patch in our marriage where we decided that we should look into Christian Marriage Counseling in Utah to move forward in our marriage. I would like to share with you what happened that lead us to look into counseling, and what happened after.
Thirty two years ago, I met my wife. From the moment that I met my wife, I knew that I wanted her in my life forever. I would say that we dated for about three years before we got married. During those three years of dating, my wife’s parents did not like me. Thirty two years later, I am still trying to figure out why her parent’s don’t like me.
Not Welcomed
My wife and I always tried to ignore that I was not welcomed in her family, and for the most part we tried to make our marriage work without having outside sources affect us. We tried not to let our children ever catch on to my in laws not wanting me to be a part of their family. Since my wife’s in laws lived out of town, it was easier to make up excuses to our children as to why I wasn’t going with them to visit their grandparents.
Although it was very clear that I was not liked by my wife’s family, I really tried not to let their unreasonable feelings affect our marriage. Everything was status quo until I overheard my wife agreeing with her parent’s that she could have done better and should not have married me. Throughout all of these years of being together, I have always put my wife on a pedestal; to hear my wife actually agree that I wasn’t good for her broke my heart.
A Disturbing Conversation
At first, I didn’t want to say anything to my wife. I wasn’t sure how to approach my wife in a mature way. I tried to forget about overhearing her conversation; I also tried to play devil’s advocate and think of different scenarios of how the conversation might have been. I didn’t want to accuse my wife without knowing for sure, but I was pretty certain that the conversation was pretty cut and dry, and my wife agreed with her parents.
For weeks after I overheard my wife’s conversation, things were definitely different on my end of the relationship. I tried to forget about what was going on but I just couldn’t get it out of my mind. I kept replaying my wife agreeing, and I kept wondering what I did, that she would agree. I gave her everything she wants; in fact I didn’t even make her work. Her wish was my command, and she agreed that I wasn’t good enough? I was so confused.
Feeling Betrayed
After a while, I was sick of harboring these confused feelings and I needed to approach my wife. I couldn’t beat around the bush any longer, and needed answers to move on in our marriage. After letting my wife know about the conversation that I overheard, she kept telling me that she only agreed with her parents to stop them from talking about me. Hearing my wife’s answer just made me more confused. Even if she didn’t agree with what her parents were saying, the fact that she didn’t defend me bothered me.
I needed something to change in our marriage, and I wanted my wife to see how much I love her and realize that I should be defended. Even if her parents don’t like me, they should still respect the decision that was made by their daughter. In order to move forward in our marriage, I decided that we should look into Christian Marriage Counseling in Utah. From that search, my wife and I came across Mort Fertel’s Marriage Fitness program. Through this program, we were able to work on our marriage in a more productive way and we learned the importance of standing by each other. Though my in laws still do not welcome me, at least I know now that my wife is proud to be married to me.
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